"Emotional intelligence is the ability to make emotions work for you, instead of against you."

— Travis Bradberry, co-author of Emotional Intelligence 2.0

Welcome to our 36th issue! This week, we’re addressing a critical leadership mistake: neglecting emotional intelligence (EI/EQ). When I talk about EQ I usually refer to it as self-mastery. Self-mastery means you know yourself and your triggers well enough to be able to stay smart even when emotions run high.  Your best thinking doesn't get hijacked so easily so you're able to connect with your teams, manage stress, and make higher quality decisions, ultimately showing up much more effectively!

Here’s What It Looks Like When You Don't Have Self-Mastery:

• Ignoring Emotions: You might prioritize logic and facts over emotions, believing that emotions don't count at work. But as you might have noticed, ignoring emotions doesn't avoid conflict, it actually leads to it! Plus it's often to blame for low morale and disengaged team members.

• Reacting Emotionally: You might react impulsively to what's going on based on your emotions, instead of using your best thinking to decide how to respond. This gets you the kind of decisions you look back on shaking your head and asking yourself "What was I thinking!?" You're not alone. 

• Lack of Empathy: You might struggle to understand other people and how they might feel. This damages your ability to connect with your team, your colleagues, your clients - everyone. It makes it pretty much impossible to build trust and collaborative relationships.

What You Should Be Doing Instead:

• First, prioritize self-mastery. Check in with your emotions and understand what triggers you. Starting to uncover your triggers and blind spots can help you notice where your best thinking and decision-making has been hijacked. Notice the patterns so you can start to manage them - It can be super simple like making an agreement with yourself that you'll wait at least a day, an hour, or even a count to 5 before you respond. 

• Next, practice empathy by making an effort to understand other's emotions and perspectives. What might they be feeling? Why might they feel that way? It's ok if that's not what you would feel - in fact, noticing that's not what you would feel is a great sign that you're learning. This can help you build stronger, more collaborative connections with people.

When I work with leaders, we prioritize self-mastery. It's a critical and non-negotiable leadership competency. It's how you learn and apply tools to manage your emotions, so how you think and act aren't just reactions to all the moving pieces around you. 

Self-mastery helps you lead more confidently and just plain better. You’ll create a more positive, productive work environment and strengthen your ability to be the go-to person when things get complicated.

If you're ready to work on your self-mastery so you can stop regretting your reactions (or lack of reaction!) and feel confident yourself as a leader in a way that others notice, schedule a consultation with me. 

Self mastery helps you to improve communication, build stronger relationships, and make more thoughtful decisions. Together, we’ll work on developing the skills that will help you enjoy being a leader again and as a bonus, boost your team’s performance. 

Next week's preview:

Next week, we’ll explore the crucial role of stakeholder management and why neglecting it can massively limit your influence.

Go out there and lead,

Asia